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I Needed A Break

My knickers got in a twist. I was feeling overwhelmed and pissed off. Too many people with a hand out and never a hand held out. Too many people with obvious problems that I was willing to lend a hand to, but who clammed up and, became ridiculous, yet still wanted comfort. I've been pondering things like: If you know someone is having money problems but they don't reveal it, do you still have a moral obligation to be a good friend and feed them? Or lend the car, or whatever? Right now I have decided: No.

My rationale is that part of sharing your predicaments is the bond it creates between two people. Any successful relationship one can expect a give and take parlance. But if one person does more without the benefit of knowing why they are giving more, then things begin to stink real fast. And if one person is always accepting your generosity but never reciprocates, and you don't know the reason why, then it stinks twice.

So what did I do? I talked to myself for a few days and enacted scenes from imaginary plays where I was the heroine and everyone else came to their senses and saw things my way.

Then I logged onto Couchsurfing for some solutions. I needed good energy. I have been a Couchsurfing member for a few years now and all I can say is: why is not the rest of the world filled with these same members? Couchsurfers are amazing. They are kind, positive, arrive at your house with a smile and do their best to add to the world around them. Yes, they are traveling, so on some level one could say they are on vacation and by default cheery. But I don't think that's it.

Couchsurfers contact you because they want to be with you and do what you're doing. (I can spot the: I'm too cheap to pay for stuff requests). I logged on and posted a thread: How can I bring the CS philosophy into my everyday life? What I got back was thoughtful, funny, from all walks of life and countries, and it cheered me up! So much so that I am attempting to host a CS potluck later next month - I've already received 3 'yessiree bub' replies, and a group of CS from Merida, who are from all over, are forming a little language group that will meet this week! That's how fast shit happens on CS. It like this online community of people who are fully aligned with the stars. I need that energy right now. I need good vibrations and love. I need love beads and my feet rubbed. I need my house bustling with creative energy and new ideas.

Through wandering, I clicked on a profile of a man in Singapore. His picture caught my eye. He was beating a drum and wearing a wonderfully crazy hat. So I dropped a line and we have now been sharing a wonderful correspondence.

I want to be involved. But I don't want involvement that fails to embrace or uplift. I want to share stuff with happy people. I am tired of my own baggage and made even more weary by yours.

I am turning a new leaf.
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