fromthemouthofmoi

A much earlier post, These Misunderstandings Between Us , has garnered the most traffic to this blog with well over 3 thousand hits. I have to assume that its topic struck a chord with many people. So I have decided to continue the conversation, taking it further, with a focus on negotiating and navigating sex. Sexual urges, no matter how frequent or infrequently they occur, are normal. If you like to do it five times a day or once a month, both of those scenarios are normal. Your desire for sexual contact is normal. When people marry, they talk about religion, finances, schooling for their children and a host of other things but rarely do people sit down with their partners and talk about sexual compatibility. If you couple with someone who wants intimacy once a day and you are a once a week person, both of you are soon to be miserable. The once a day person will feel unfulfilled followed by feelings of rejection and the once a week person is going to eventually feel put upon and st...

MY INTRODUCTION TO YOU Disclaimer: This blog entry is for consenting adults and is not meant for anyone who is in crisis mode, unwanted pregnancy, rape, suspecting an STD or domestic abuse. I am not qualified to deal with that in a written blog. For those who have stumbled across this blog and need urgent help, go to your nearest doctor or hospital. Even if your doctor is not fully comfortable talking about certain subjects he or she should be professional enough to direct you to the right professional. You also have the right, normally, to ask for a service provider with a gender you feel more comfortable speaking with. Go now! I promise it will be better than going it alone. This blog entry is aimed at heterosexual sex. I do not feel qualified to talk about sex between those with other sexual orientations though the premise of this entry is applicable to everyone. I write now from a place where men love and respect women; and where women listen to men offering their full re...

Twerking, if you think about what is being wagged in your face, can hardly be construed sexy. Half naked is passe. Legs spread wide is kind of vulgar. Bananas, whips, and microphones that suggest the sucking of male anatomy seems infantile to me at this point. And as a woman I am kind of infuriated that the woman's movement has seen twerking as a new kind of feminism. I don't want to train men not to rape me by wagging my genitals in their face and chanting "don't touch". I also don't think mimicking porn culture advances women. Finally, feminism is not, and should not, be something capable of being embraced only by a particular age group. True feminism values the input of women from all generations, not just the nubile. Clarity, directness, negotiation and honouring the self advances women, not the emulation of the worse qualities found in men. While I understand the theory behind exposing genitals and demanding no one touch, I think in the long run it really...

I had been unhappy about the quality of people I have met here in Merida. I found them to be either raging alcoholics incapable of a decent conversation, uninteresting, not in their own right, but in terms of matching my interests, or from some place on the planet that infers that New Yorkers are obnoxious and to be avoided. There is truth in a language spoken and shared; being sometimes a relationship of immediate understanding. When I was introduced to C, a fellow New Yorker, I was made happy by her snide comments and fast clipped talking and constant interruptions. It made me feel 'at home'. And I knew that my reciprocation of equally snide remarks and interruptions were well received too. Try doing that with any other state member and you will see people flinch and look annoyed. As they wander away, you can hear them mutter things about your rudeness all with an air that is supposed to convince me they went to elocution school and graduated from Bryn Mawr. At anytime I ca...