fromthemouthofmoi

Everyone was in their place. Everything had a place. Then my biological father died. I am not going to tell you anything that smells of manure. I am going to tell you how I feel. I don't feel much about my father's death, and when my mother goes, I will feel even less. I can already feel some of you cringing and see some of you falling to knees to say a quick prayer for me; don't bother. Myself doesn't need your prayers, myself needs all of you to ask me what my boundaries are and when I tell you, myself needs you to abide by them. Leave your packet of platitudes for the hour after my death when I will finally be out of earshot. If you would like to know why I feel this way, just ask. What's the point of wonder when you don't use your tongue? And don't be asking any questions to pass judgment. Be asking to understand me. I was not raised by either parent after the age of eleven. At the age of eleven, this is when the heroes, heroines, and those that ...

I made my trip to Europe and what a trip it has been. It has not been what I expected. It has been more. I ask myself, self: what might you be thinking? And myself replies: too many things. I began in Dusseldorf. I saw old friends, Bernd and Sigy. Gray now and looking like strange children with youthful smiles under weathered faces. I love them now more than I did then when first we met.  They walk at a brisk pace. So brisk I can't keep up. I lumber with the gait of those living in tropical climates. They walk hurriedly desperate to outpace the cold. All those years ago in New York City's Lower East Side. I pushed Bernd, fully clothes, into a public pool. Sigy flirting with me and me too scared to let go of my sexuality. Now we are older and everything is let to pass in favour of the friendship that sustains years. The art of friendship. The friendship of art. The sudden reappearance of longevity that holds nothing and everything. This longevity allows instant simpatico. It...

A couple of weeks back I saw that a concert was to be given by The International String Quartet of Yucatan. My friend Ben and I went, and honestly, I was not expecting much of anything. I had, earlier in the year, gone to the Merida City Ballet and that proved to be such a disaster that I simply found myself skeptical concerning things referred to as 'classical' in Merida. The ballet was so profoundly disappointing that at one point during the performance I found myself looking around the theatre to see if anyone else was laughing. It was a real Candid Camera type of performance. Ballerinas falling on stage, male dance partners spinning ballerinas around so violently that I held my breath half expecting them to be flung offstage...ballerinas being spun because they weren't able to pirouette on their own. It was really spectacularly awful. All the rows in my near vicinity were occupied by people with smart phones filming the performance; not one thought turing off thei...

The biggest reason that I can think of is that Hollandaise Sauce requires strict timing. I recently invited eight people for a sit down formal Thanksgiving dinner which was to have commenced at 6PM. At 6.15PM I called the one person not present to ask if they were on their way and was informed that they would arrive in half an hour. Fifteen minutes before their expected arrival I began to separate eggs and melt butter. This delinquent guest, after 45 minutes, had still failed to show. When he did finally show I did the best I could and just served food. Some of my guests, who knew what I had intended to prepare, asked me about the sauce and I had to come up with an answer that differed from: We are not having it because this asshole guest arrived late and ruined it. Later I asked myself what Mexican's cook for guests. I mean do they make anything that requires timing? Or is everything good cold or hot or is everything suitable for the microwave, an appliance I do not own? Mexic...

I hold many secrets of those that I love and for those that I could care less about. I hold these secrets because half of them I have forgotten and the other half, I know, that should I reveal them in anger or flippancy, it will be me that stands alone looking ill-bred. Merida is run amok and rampant with Gringos that love to gossip. I always expect this behaviour from people who stand before hallway lockers, dialing combination numbers, while acne wreaks havoc upon their faces. I am never expecting this faux forte from people who are my age. Plainly spoken, I feel devastation when I witness gossip. When I am asked to participate by answering a question or when I find myself overhearing it, I can feel the blood rush to my face with anger. I knew my mother was a hypocrite when I sat in the kitchen of her Vancouver apartment and overheard her bad-mouth another woman, from the living room, with what was gossip. I felt so inflamed that I jumped from my seat and asked her how she coul...

You can not be given the name Moira, grow up never meeting another one, and not think of Ireland. Whenever I meet people from Ireland or Scotland I am cheerfully told that this is a common name over there. Over there. Not here. I have one of the most Celtic names a person could have: Moira Kirstin Boyd and to my knowledge I am not of Celtic descent. I am going to begin with the etymology of 'Moira'. I want to do this to illustrate how pervasive its meaning is in our culture. I also do it for those that are reading this that approach me with a half-assed history lesson on the meaning of my name thinking I didn't know, after 53 years, what the meaning of my very own name means. 'Moira' means 'fate'. The collective term for Moira is Moirae and The Moirae (sometimes written Moirai), were three sisters in Greek mythology that determined the fate of a life spent on earth. These sisters were Klotho, (the spinner), Lakhesis (portioner of lots), and Atropos (she ...

I hate to go on about toilets but in Thailand, except for western style hotels, you might be in for a surprise. Style wise they are actually pretty neat but for utilitarian usage I found them to be a nightmare and not because of how they looked but because of what is required to use them. You need balance,  Olympic speed skater thigh muscles and a friend nearby to haul you out if you tip over. I have never been one of those women that seems to always go to the bathroom when her girlfriends need to, but while visiting Thailand I drug everyone to the toilet with me when the urge came. The bucket of water is usually filled with fresh water and used to flush away whatever has been put into it. You can flush the paper unlike Merida, but that is really the last of your worries here. I used to wonder why I seemed to frequently see Asians squatting while milling about. Like on a cigarette break or waiting for something they are more often than Westerners seen squatting. I was alrea...