Dear X,
I am hoping this letter finds you well. I am doing OK myself. The weather has been nice but I know summer is around the corner and I will be spending every waking moment in my pool waiting for winter. There are some things going on that I just don't understand and I am hoping you can lend me some insight. I think I speak for many when I ask: What's up with that bombing and suicide shit?
I know the term 'jihadist' may upset you and I'm really not trying to piss you off. I know in decent circles 'jihad' is the act of trying to become closer to God and that in its extreme one performs it to defend Islam and the right to be a Muslim. I know all that. But what I don't understand is why so many young people such as yourself, handsome young men, seem so hell bent on going to your graves? You are all young. You are at the same age I was when I was meeting people, studying, forming myself into the woman I would eventually become. What are you struggling with? What seems so scary and confusing to you? What was your childhood like? I ask about your childhood because as an American we usually associate adults gone mad, like you have, as an indication of terrible suffering during childhood. I have to say though that I think a fair number of people, the majority, who've suffered trauma as children take up a professions that don't involve dynamite.
That said I guess it surprises me that a number of you who take up explosives for a life-ending hobby haven't actually grown up in war zones or places that might be an understandable breeding ground for rage. Some of you are college educated, doctors, grew up in good homes smack in the middle of famous metropolitan cities. But the one thing you have in common is you are all social misfits. You are recruiting people at a surprising rate but at the same time if I were forming a group Id want it filled with people like Tariq Ramadan or Tareq Al-Suwaidan and Mohammad Ali. You're gathering up sociopaths. College educated Muslims with a great understanding of the religion which they have tempered with a good academic baseline. Do you become Jihadist's like Latin and Afro-Americans youth join the Crips and The Bloods? Gang members are susceptible to recruitment because they have no direction, no foreseeable future and they are angry and want peers to fit in with. Are you like that? You're both recruited in your youth, primarily male, and family ties seem to be furthest from your mind. The Bloods and the Crips, when duking it out on the streets of America, often shoot random innocent people who just happen to have been caught in the middle of the mayhem. Not excusable whatsoever but why do you expressly wish to take people with you? In my spiritual beliefs, and let's assume yours are true too, all those who die at your hands are going to end up in the same place you are. Heaven. You for your beliefs and they for being innocent.
For three years I studied the Qur'an. Most of the time I did so on my own but there was a time I took up my studies with an imam who provided directed studies. I am not going to try and pass off a big fib to you. I went in for the guided teachings hoping for a historical context. What I got was pressure to have faith in the unbelievable and I personally can't do that. I would not place that pressure solely on Islam as catechism has the same kind of pressure as does learning Torah. I love literature. It is my academic background and all literature is valuable and important to me including sacred texts. That said the most interesting place I learned about the bible was in a classroom, The Bible as Literature.
For three years I studied the Qur'an. I became interested in Islam after the planes went into The World Trade Center buildings. Buildings I had been in with friends. Buildings in my home town. Like everyone else I was like: Who? What? And like everyone else I wept.
I went online and tried to befriend Muslims in order to hear from their mouths what the problem was and why someone might feel compelled to do something so insane. I befriended M, someone I am still friends with thirteen years later. I never got a satisfactory answer from him other than what everyone seems to say: These aren't Muslims. I'm pretty sure you don't imagine yourself not Muslim. I'm pretty sure you imagine yourselves the ultimate 100% pure type of Muslim, but only you can say but I don't hear you saying anything other than some stuff about virgins, and then BOOM. We who watch this never seem to get the whole picture. And I am absolutely sure you are trying to say something. But I am here to tell you, it's going over every one's head. All we feel sorry for are the poor people victimized by the terror, the family of those slain and the poor person who has to clean brains off the floor. You the Jihadist, we just get a mental picture in our head of who you are, we put a star next to your image and write 'looser' next to that and then we go back to doing what we were doing. And we go back to it sure your fantasies of frolicking with virgins is laughable. There may be 72 virgins waiting in paradise but when you get there those women will be on strike. And since there are only 72 I would suggest that they are no longer virgins. OK that may be uncalled for, but I am trying to make a point.
I asked my Muslim ex-husband once what the point of suicide bombers was and he said they are all poor and have nothing to look forward to. They can't find jobs, therefore they can't save money to marry so they kill themselves. That's what he said. I kind of interpreted that to mean: I can't have a wife in this life so I will kill myself and have 72 virgins in paradise instead. That would make sense except for one thing. Most people get some rope and hang themselves in a closet, or jump out the window or chuck themselves in front of a bus or something; why so much punch loaded into your exit? Why is it necessary to take out other Muslims and bystanders?
What you probably don't know is that around the world, everywhere actually, are ghetto's. Even the good old USA has ghetto's. Let me explain the word 'ghetto' to you. It's a place, usually an area of a city where the poor live. These poor don't have enough money, just like you. They don't have enough money to marry or support their kids but they do so anyway - it's their right. They too can't find jobs and more and more they never leave the homes of their parents, just like you. You are not alone in your poverty or desire to have a piece of the pie. Your dreams for life do not differ from Westerners. You know what my ex once told me when he first came to America? He said he was shocked out of his mind to see homeless people living on the streets of America. when I asked him why he was so shocked all he could say was: This is America. When I delved further he said that everything he saw on TV in Morocco never showed America as being a place having poverty. I wondered for three seconds how that could be and then I realized that is what we sell to the rest of the world. That we are a place with gold lined streets and we all toss money into the bins as we saunter down the streets. My advice with this? Don't believe everything you see on TV. I felt bad for my ex in that moment because I knew right then and there that he thought coming to America was going to be easy street. He didn't realize he'd have to work like a slave to make ends meet and that any coin he saw on the pavement was one he would stoop to pick up to help make ends meet. That there was never going to be a neighbourhood where he could go to pick up and gather extra cash when needed. He reminded me of that little boy from Asia, who years ago, went to San Francisco and saw the Golden Gate Bridge and was shocked to see that it wasn't gold. He returned to his native country and collected funds for enough paint to have the bridge painted gold. He was sadly informed that by the time they would have painted the bridge gold with the paint he had secured, it would be time to paint the bridge all over again. Imagine that child's heartbreak. Imagine how his eyes opened to reality. Reality can be very disconcerting, can't it.
Why don't you all write suicide letters so we can read about your intent after you've gone? If you indeed did write letters and placed them in your breast pocket you probably didn't realize that paper, like your brains, will never be pieced back together again. It's best to place the letter in a post box first and mail it to someone who can make some sense of your intentions in the aftermath.
One of the things I heard over and over again when studying Islam is how often people say that the Qur'an has never been changed since the Prophet Mohammad received it. That Islam is being practiced the way it was intended and the way The Prophet said it was to be. And that Muslims are Muslims are Muslims. That sounds good, but that is not true. Forgive me for saying this but Muslims are prone to the same bullshit as all the other religions. You know what the difference is between Sunni and Shi'ite and that difference was the first fight Muslims had after the death of the Prophet. You all haven't been on the same page of your faith since about an hour and a half after Mohammad's death. I'm not blaming anyone for anything here, I'm just trying to make a point. From day one Muslims broke up and formed sects and each of these sects have basic differences that prevent everyone from getting along. Each one says the other is wrong and some sects are thought to be a form of Satan (Sufi). Don't worry, I know the same stuff happened with Christianity and Judaism. After the prophets exit stage left, all hell breaks loose. In man's hands religion becomes everything and all things bad. It becomes a big argument about what was really meant. Where in the Qur'an are there directions for vest bombs? What surah was that in? Since it is not in the original text it must be in a footnote in a newer edition. Please feel free to email the surah which contains this updated information. I am all ears.
You know those evil eye amulets you see all over the place? Those are expressly forbidden in the Qur'an/surah. We know what the Qur'an says about people having the evil eye but the amulet is forbidden because Muslims are supposed to rely on God and not trinkets. But every Halal store I ever entered has those for sale. Its OK with me if you want to buy them, all I want to point out to you is that they are a part of your culture and not the Qur'an. See how easy it is to get confused? See how easy it is to believe something and not really know where it comes from. See how easy it is to do something because you were told to do it by someone you respected and whom you trusted wouldn't lead you astray? Culture and The Qur'an are two different things. Just look at hijab around the world, Indonesia, Ethiopia, Saudi - it's all done differently. Beard or no beard or red beard you men get to choose too!
In my culture we believe that people, human beings, become rigid when they are most scared; when people need to control things and fear being out of control. I struggle to understand if I can apply my western notion of psychology to people who do not share my culture. I don't know. I understand Sharia law. I really do. It makes absolute sense during that time before cars, refrigeration, telephones, TV, and the Internet. If people are living some place and all they imagine life to be is their own little village then this kind of instruction keeps things orderly and neat. But isn't being Muslim a choice that one has to come to freely? If you come to it freely why the police to keep people in line? Hadith doesn't work unless you remain ignorant with your head in the sand. Hadith is what people freshly alone in the world without a prophet to guide them need. It's like a starter package of instructions. I think it was meant to offer guidance until you could stand on your own two feet. One of the most basic principles of Islam which from what I can tell very few people indulge in, is reading. Hadith instructs every Muslim to read everything and anything to be informed. Do you think mathematics, philosophy, calligraphy, astronomy came from the minds that didn't read? No, no, no darling. You were reading learning maniacs. Almost nothing about the prophet is followed with love in the heart today. Hadith is followed like robots follow chips in their heads. That everything, right down to what side you should sleep on or what to do in the bathroom has a rule, and is asking for trouble to think millions upon millions of people can follow such rules.
What is a personality to a Muslim? What is personal responsibility to a Muslim? How do you distinguish between Insha'Allah and using the intellect or the self awareness you were born with? Insha'Alla is: Insha'Allah I will win the lotto. Insha'Allah is not: Insha'Allah I will stop beating my children. Do you see the difference to a western mind? I was in a Masjid once for Eid and over the loudspeaker the guy kept saying Insha'Allah may people move over to make room for others. No one moved. So I asked people to move over and voila they moved. My friend M put it well, he said: we pray to God to guide us but the rest is up to us to use the tools we were given as human beings, simply: common sense. If you perpetually declare: Insha'Allah and then sit there, nothing with get better. Nothing. And if you follow a bunch of rules without understanding their context then you have wasted your own life.
When I lived in Brooklyn I once went to a Muslima social groups to meet other women to have as friends. You know what I was met with? It was a miserable experience for me. Before I was asked my name I was informed my abaya was not long enough. I was asked, informed of, and grilled about what others considered I had to know before being accepted in the club. It was the most unwelcoming religious experience I ever had.
Do you know I have never met a Muslim who could actually find the surahs to support the dribble that fell from their mouths? I haven't found a Christian or Jew who could either, so you are not alone. You know the craziest thing I ever heard my ex-husband say? When I asked him why Muslims never complained about or talked about Buddhists or people of other religions he said: they don't share the same God, they aren't human like we are human. Which only got me wondering, if they are not human like me, then how did they get here? And is Chinese food the food of Satan?
We Westerners simply scratch our heads and think: Are you doing it because you think it will move me to convert to Islam or because you think I will shed a tear for you or something? Or are you doing it like my ex-husband said, because you are poor and have no chance in hell for a job and a life. If you can't find a good job you can't get married in your culture. Is that the reason? Is that why those 72 virgins (houri) suddenly seem so appetizing?
Let me give you a heads up about American culture. There is something key to my culture that if you only knew, you would immediately cease and desist taking people hostage, or blowing yourself or buildings up. You would walk away right now and forget all that nonsense you have in your head.
I am going to write as an American but I absolutely feel confident writing for Britons, The French, Canadians and any other country in the Western world that lives within a democracy.
In America, the land of the individual, we thrive on allowing people to be who they are. We don't care what language you speak, what you eat (we probably even want some of your food), where you worship, or what you wear. Be friendly and help me if I need help. If you just got off the boat from someplace else, be willing to get with the program (learn some of my ways, let me hang with your wife if you are off working, show me how to cook, or smile a lot until you learn my language). When Americans are protesting and up in arms about something, you would be doing yourself a favour to join in the protest. Show your support for your new country. Let people know you care about what others care about. That tag -American after Afro-American, Irish-American, German-American, Italian-American is part of a proud lineage. You get to put that tag, after the country you've come from, when you have assimilated.
I am not going to bad mouth your religion because you don't seem know it any better than Westerner's do. Westerner's believe the Qur'an is filled with violence and hate. They actually use the word 'teaches' violence and hate, but you and I know a book can not teach anything. People teach. And the other thing Westerner's forget is that the Bible and the Torah are filed with the same muck and are quite violent too. No less so. So let's not even deal with the Qur'an...
Let's look at The World Trade Center - and I am not trying to bring that day up in the same old, same old kind of way but rather to make a different kind of point to teach you about my culture. On September 11, 2001 let's say 6 thousand people set off for work, got to their offices, got some coffee, sat at their desks and BAM at 8.45 am and for the next 15 minutes or so, something seriously bad happened to the buildings these people worked in. Some were en route in the elevators, some were in the bathroom, some were at their desks, and some were dead upon impact. Here is what not one of those people knew who were in the building: They did not know it was a terrorist attack, they never knew - unless they made it out alive- the who, what, why of that day. They just died. They died scared, they died, if lucky, being able to place a last phone call to a loved one before the Towers went down. Approximately 3000 people went to their death not thinking a thing about Islam. They just died.
Now let's look at the immediate family members and acquaintances of those that died. Let's make up a number like 10,000. Ten thousand people do not have a day that passes where they do not think about their loved one. Ten thousand people remember 9/11 as a solemn day. Those who died who were Muslims remember the day in the same way as everyone else. Shaking their heads.
Burkas, Abayas, Jilbabs we really don't have a problem with this kind of stuff. Its about modesty and I get that. But first I need you to understand that hijab simply means to cover and how you have interpreted that is at the extreme and has more to do with a culture than the Qur'an. On Halloween if I saw someone dressed as Darth Vadar I would simply say, silently to myself, right time and place. But if I saw that outfit on everywhere I went I would find it alienating and weird. How can your women make friends with their new neighbours if they are never allowed to come over without being zipped up in a tent they can only talk through the mesh windows from? That's got to be a drag for your women and it is certainly a drag for me.
I want to point out that when I went to the dictionary to be sure of the spelling for 'fundamentalist' it began with a description of Christian fundamentalism but ended with pointing out Islamic fundamentalism has taken over and the word is used today and associated with Islam. Do you know what that means? What it implies? It implies that everyone has their heyday. Once Christianity ruled and now you are moving in on the fun. Christians are full of shit too so don't think I'm out for you specifically. I'd have written this same letter to Christians if I had had a rock and a chisel during the Crusades, or had my neighbour been carried off during the times of the Medieval Inquisitions.
I just wish I could convey to you how silly you are being. Not just silly but it's all too sad to witness in the face of science, a science your own cultures provided the rest of the world with. When did books and learning become such a bad thing? When did women become such a threat? Who died and left you in charge?Why are you so threatened by the individual? Do you still believe the world is flat? If you don't then there is a part of you that is open to the concept of evolution and I heartily encourage you to tap into that small voice; after all it might lead to bigger things.
I'm going to assume you have access to the internet. Maybe not a library or a school because those things require a mailing address. I encourage you to pick a subject, any subject that you thought about as a wondering, wide eyed child and research it. Do it out of curiosity and safely away from your peers who may frown upon this activity. I want you to be safe. Pay attention to how you feel inside when you learn something new or see something funny - do Jihadists even laugh? Think about where you are now and where you want to be in the future. Do you want to be in a place that is imaginary and where no one has returned to confirm its existence or do you want to be happy, laughing with friends and family sharing a pizza? You have to do some soul-searching here, my friend and you have to find a hobby that doesn't leave your dead headless and legless body an item to be stared at ghoulishly on the internet.
In closing, I hope this letter finds you well and that it reaches you despite your whereabouts being unknown. I will sign off now and go jump in the pool.
Signed,
Just curious
I am hoping this letter finds you well. I am doing OK myself. The weather has been nice but I know summer is around the corner and I will be spending every waking moment in my pool waiting for winter. There are some things going on that I just don't understand and I am hoping you can lend me some insight. I think I speak for many when I ask: What's up with that bombing and suicide shit?
I know the term 'jihadist' may upset you and I'm really not trying to piss you off. I know in decent circles 'jihad' is the act of trying to become closer to God and that in its extreme one performs it to defend Islam and the right to be a Muslim. I know all that. But what I don't understand is why so many young people such as yourself, handsome young men, seem so hell bent on going to your graves? You are all young. You are at the same age I was when I was meeting people, studying, forming myself into the woman I would eventually become. What are you struggling with? What seems so scary and confusing to you? What was your childhood like? I ask about your childhood because as an American we usually associate adults gone mad, like you have, as an indication of terrible suffering during childhood. I have to say though that I think a fair number of people, the majority, who've suffered trauma as children take up a professions that don't involve dynamite.
That said I guess it surprises me that a number of you who take up explosives for a life-ending hobby haven't actually grown up in war zones or places that might be an understandable breeding ground for rage. Some of you are college educated, doctors, grew up in good homes smack in the middle of famous metropolitan cities. But the one thing you have in common is you are all social misfits. You are recruiting people at a surprising rate but at the same time if I were forming a group Id want it filled with people like Tariq Ramadan or Tareq Al-Suwaidan and Mohammad Ali. You're gathering up sociopaths. College educated Muslims with a great understanding of the religion which they have tempered with a good academic baseline. Do you become Jihadist's like Latin and Afro-Americans youth join the Crips and The Bloods? Gang members are susceptible to recruitment because they have no direction, no foreseeable future and they are angry and want peers to fit in with. Are you like that? You're both recruited in your youth, primarily male, and family ties seem to be furthest from your mind. The Bloods and the Crips, when duking it out on the streets of America, often shoot random innocent people who just happen to have been caught in the middle of the mayhem. Not excusable whatsoever but why do you expressly wish to take people with you? In my spiritual beliefs, and let's assume yours are true too, all those who die at your hands are going to end up in the same place you are. Heaven. You for your beliefs and they for being innocent.
For three years I studied the Qur'an. Most of the time I did so on my own but there was a time I took up my studies with an imam who provided directed studies. I am not going to try and pass off a big fib to you. I went in for the guided teachings hoping for a historical context. What I got was pressure to have faith in the unbelievable and I personally can't do that. I would not place that pressure solely on Islam as catechism has the same kind of pressure as does learning Torah. I love literature. It is my academic background and all literature is valuable and important to me including sacred texts. That said the most interesting place I learned about the bible was in a classroom, The Bible as Literature.
For three years I studied the Qur'an. I became interested in Islam after the planes went into The World Trade Center buildings. Buildings I had been in with friends. Buildings in my home town. Like everyone else I was like: Who? What? And like everyone else I wept.
I went online and tried to befriend Muslims in order to hear from their mouths what the problem was and why someone might feel compelled to do something so insane. I befriended M, someone I am still friends with thirteen years later. I never got a satisfactory answer from him other than what everyone seems to say: These aren't Muslims. I'm pretty sure you don't imagine yourself not Muslim. I'm pretty sure you imagine yourselves the ultimate 100% pure type of Muslim, but only you can say but I don't hear you saying anything other than some stuff about virgins, and then BOOM. We who watch this never seem to get the whole picture. And I am absolutely sure you are trying to say something. But I am here to tell you, it's going over every one's head. All we feel sorry for are the poor people victimized by the terror, the family of those slain and the poor person who has to clean brains off the floor. You the Jihadist, we just get a mental picture in our head of who you are, we put a star next to your image and write 'looser' next to that and then we go back to doing what we were doing. And we go back to it sure your fantasies of frolicking with virgins is laughable. There may be 72 virgins waiting in paradise but when you get there those women will be on strike. And since there are only 72 I would suggest that they are no longer virgins. OK that may be uncalled for, but I am trying to make a point.
I asked my Muslim ex-husband once what the point of suicide bombers was and he said they are all poor and have nothing to look forward to. They can't find jobs, therefore they can't save money to marry so they kill themselves. That's what he said. I kind of interpreted that to mean: I can't have a wife in this life so I will kill myself and have 72 virgins in paradise instead. That would make sense except for one thing. Most people get some rope and hang themselves in a closet, or jump out the window or chuck themselves in front of a bus or something; why so much punch loaded into your exit? Why is it necessary to take out other Muslims and bystanders?
What you probably don't know is that around the world, everywhere actually, are ghetto's. Even the good old USA has ghetto's. Let me explain the word 'ghetto' to you. It's a place, usually an area of a city where the poor live. These poor don't have enough money, just like you. They don't have enough money to marry or support their kids but they do so anyway - it's their right. They too can't find jobs and more and more they never leave the homes of their parents, just like you. You are not alone in your poverty or desire to have a piece of the pie. Your dreams for life do not differ from Westerners. You know what my ex once told me when he first came to America? He said he was shocked out of his mind to see homeless people living on the streets of America. when I asked him why he was so shocked all he could say was: This is America. When I delved further he said that everything he saw on TV in Morocco never showed America as being a place having poverty. I wondered for three seconds how that could be and then I realized that is what we sell to the rest of the world. That we are a place with gold lined streets and we all toss money into the bins as we saunter down the streets. My advice with this? Don't believe everything you see on TV. I felt bad for my ex in that moment because I knew right then and there that he thought coming to America was going to be easy street. He didn't realize he'd have to work like a slave to make ends meet and that any coin he saw on the pavement was one he would stoop to pick up to help make ends meet. That there was never going to be a neighbourhood where he could go to pick up and gather extra cash when needed. He reminded me of that little boy from Asia, who years ago, went to San Francisco and saw the Golden Gate Bridge and was shocked to see that it wasn't gold. He returned to his native country and collected funds for enough paint to have the bridge painted gold. He was sadly informed that by the time they would have painted the bridge gold with the paint he had secured, it would be time to paint the bridge all over again. Imagine that child's heartbreak. Imagine how his eyes opened to reality. Reality can be very disconcerting, can't it.
Why don't you all write suicide letters so we can read about your intent after you've gone? If you indeed did write letters and placed them in your breast pocket you probably didn't realize that paper, like your brains, will never be pieced back together again. It's best to place the letter in a post box first and mail it to someone who can make some sense of your intentions in the aftermath.
One of the things I heard over and over again when studying Islam is how often people say that the Qur'an has never been changed since the Prophet Mohammad received it. That Islam is being practiced the way it was intended and the way The Prophet said it was to be. And that Muslims are Muslims are Muslims. That sounds good, but that is not true. Forgive me for saying this but Muslims are prone to the same bullshit as all the other religions. You know what the difference is between Sunni and Shi'ite and that difference was the first fight Muslims had after the death of the Prophet. You all haven't been on the same page of your faith since about an hour and a half after Mohammad's death. I'm not blaming anyone for anything here, I'm just trying to make a point. From day one Muslims broke up and formed sects and each of these sects have basic differences that prevent everyone from getting along. Each one says the other is wrong and some sects are thought to be a form of Satan (Sufi). Don't worry, I know the same stuff happened with Christianity and Judaism. After the prophets exit stage left, all hell breaks loose. In man's hands religion becomes everything and all things bad. It becomes a big argument about what was really meant. Where in the Qur'an are there directions for vest bombs? What surah was that in? Since it is not in the original text it must be in a footnote in a newer edition. Please feel free to email the surah which contains this updated information. I am all ears.
You know those evil eye amulets you see all over the place? Those are expressly forbidden in the Qur'an/surah. We know what the Qur'an says about people having the evil eye but the amulet is forbidden because Muslims are supposed to rely on God and not trinkets. But every Halal store I ever entered has those for sale. Its OK with me if you want to buy them, all I want to point out to you is that they are a part of your culture and not the Qur'an. See how easy it is to get confused? See how easy it is to believe something and not really know where it comes from. See how easy it is to do something because you were told to do it by someone you respected and whom you trusted wouldn't lead you astray? Culture and The Qur'an are two different things. Just look at hijab around the world, Indonesia, Ethiopia, Saudi - it's all done differently. Beard or no beard or red beard you men get to choose too!
In my culture we believe that people, human beings, become rigid when they are most scared; when people need to control things and fear being out of control. I struggle to understand if I can apply my western notion of psychology to people who do not share my culture. I don't know. I understand Sharia law. I really do. It makes absolute sense during that time before cars, refrigeration, telephones, TV, and the Internet. If people are living some place and all they imagine life to be is their own little village then this kind of instruction keeps things orderly and neat. But isn't being Muslim a choice that one has to come to freely? If you come to it freely why the police to keep people in line? Hadith doesn't work unless you remain ignorant with your head in the sand. Hadith is what people freshly alone in the world without a prophet to guide them need. It's like a starter package of instructions. I think it was meant to offer guidance until you could stand on your own two feet. One of the most basic principles of Islam which from what I can tell very few people indulge in, is reading. Hadith instructs every Muslim to read everything and anything to be informed. Do you think mathematics, philosophy, calligraphy, astronomy came from the minds that didn't read? No, no, no darling. You were reading learning maniacs. Almost nothing about the prophet is followed with love in the heart today. Hadith is followed like robots follow chips in their heads. That everything, right down to what side you should sleep on or what to do in the bathroom has a rule, and is asking for trouble to think millions upon millions of people can follow such rules.
What is a personality to a Muslim? What is personal responsibility to a Muslim? How do you distinguish between Insha'Allah and using the intellect or the self awareness you were born with? Insha'Alla is: Insha'Allah I will win the lotto. Insha'Allah is not: Insha'Allah I will stop beating my children. Do you see the difference to a western mind? I was in a Masjid once for Eid and over the loudspeaker the guy kept saying Insha'Allah may people move over to make room for others. No one moved. So I asked people to move over and voila they moved. My friend M put it well, he said: we pray to God to guide us but the rest is up to us to use the tools we were given as human beings, simply: common sense. If you perpetually declare: Insha'Allah and then sit there, nothing with get better. Nothing. And if you follow a bunch of rules without understanding their context then you have wasted your own life.
When I lived in Brooklyn I once went to a Muslima social groups to meet other women to have as friends. You know what I was met with? It was a miserable experience for me. Before I was asked my name I was informed my abaya was not long enough. I was asked, informed of, and grilled about what others considered I had to know before being accepted in the club. It was the most unwelcoming religious experience I ever had.
Do you know I have never met a Muslim who could actually find the surahs to support the dribble that fell from their mouths? I haven't found a Christian or Jew who could either, so you are not alone. You know the craziest thing I ever heard my ex-husband say? When I asked him why Muslims never complained about or talked about Buddhists or people of other religions he said: they don't share the same God, they aren't human like we are human. Which only got me wondering, if they are not human like me, then how did they get here? And is Chinese food the food of Satan?
We Westerners simply scratch our heads and think: Are you doing it because you think it will move me to convert to Islam or because you think I will shed a tear for you or something? Or are you doing it like my ex-husband said, because you are poor and have no chance in hell for a job and a life. If you can't find a good job you can't get married in your culture. Is that the reason? Is that why those 72 virgins (houri) suddenly seem so appetizing?
Let me give you a heads up about American culture. There is something key to my culture that if you only knew, you would immediately cease and desist taking people hostage, or blowing yourself or buildings up. You would walk away right now and forget all that nonsense you have in your head.
I am going to write as an American but I absolutely feel confident writing for Britons, The French, Canadians and any other country in the Western world that lives within a democracy.
In America, the land of the individual, we thrive on allowing people to be who they are. We don't care what language you speak, what you eat (we probably even want some of your food), where you worship, or what you wear. Be friendly and help me if I need help. If you just got off the boat from someplace else, be willing to get with the program (learn some of my ways, let me hang with your wife if you are off working, show me how to cook, or smile a lot until you learn my language). When Americans are protesting and up in arms about something, you would be doing yourself a favour to join in the protest. Show your support for your new country. Let people know you care about what others care about. That tag -American after Afro-American, Irish-American, German-American, Italian-American is part of a proud lineage. You get to put that tag, after the country you've come from, when you have assimilated.
I am not going to bad mouth your religion because you don't seem know it any better than Westerner's do. Westerner's believe the Qur'an is filled with violence and hate. They actually use the word 'teaches' violence and hate, but you and I know a book can not teach anything. People teach. And the other thing Westerner's forget is that the Bible and the Torah are filed with the same muck and are quite violent too. No less so. So let's not even deal with the Qur'an...
Let's look at The World Trade Center - and I am not trying to bring that day up in the same old, same old kind of way but rather to make a different kind of point to teach you about my culture. On September 11, 2001 let's say 6 thousand people set off for work, got to their offices, got some coffee, sat at their desks and BAM at 8.45 am and for the next 15 minutes or so, something seriously bad happened to the buildings these people worked in. Some were en route in the elevators, some were in the bathroom, some were at their desks, and some were dead upon impact. Here is what not one of those people knew who were in the building: They did not know it was a terrorist attack, they never knew - unless they made it out alive- the who, what, why of that day. They just died. They died scared, they died, if lucky, being able to place a last phone call to a loved one before the Towers went down. Approximately 3000 people went to their death not thinking a thing about Islam. They just died.
Now let's look at the immediate family members and acquaintances of those that died. Let's make up a number like 10,000. Ten thousand people do not have a day that passes where they do not think about their loved one. Ten thousand people remember 9/11 as a solemn day. Those who died who were Muslims remember the day in the same way as everyone else. Shaking their heads.
Burkas, Abayas, Jilbabs we really don't have a problem with this kind of stuff. Its about modesty and I get that. But first I need you to understand that hijab simply means to cover and how you have interpreted that is at the extreme and has more to do with a culture than the Qur'an. On Halloween if I saw someone dressed as Darth Vadar I would simply say, silently to myself, right time and place. But if I saw that outfit on everywhere I went I would find it alienating and weird. How can your women make friends with their new neighbours if they are never allowed to come over without being zipped up in a tent they can only talk through the mesh windows from? That's got to be a drag for your women and it is certainly a drag for me.
I want to point out that when I went to the dictionary to be sure of the spelling for 'fundamentalist' it began with a description of Christian fundamentalism but ended with pointing out Islamic fundamentalism has taken over and the word is used today and associated with Islam. Do you know what that means? What it implies? It implies that everyone has their heyday. Once Christianity ruled and now you are moving in on the fun. Christians are full of shit too so don't think I'm out for you specifically. I'd have written this same letter to Christians if I had had a rock and a chisel during the Crusades, or had my neighbour been carried off during the times of the Medieval Inquisitions.
I just wish I could convey to you how silly you are being. Not just silly but it's all too sad to witness in the face of science, a science your own cultures provided the rest of the world with. When did books and learning become such a bad thing? When did women become such a threat? Who died and left you in charge?Why are you so threatened by the individual? Do you still believe the world is flat? If you don't then there is a part of you that is open to the concept of evolution and I heartily encourage you to tap into that small voice; after all it might lead to bigger things.
I'm going to assume you have access to the internet. Maybe not a library or a school because those things require a mailing address. I encourage you to pick a subject, any subject that you thought about as a wondering, wide eyed child and research it. Do it out of curiosity and safely away from your peers who may frown upon this activity. I want you to be safe. Pay attention to how you feel inside when you learn something new or see something funny - do Jihadists even laugh? Think about where you are now and where you want to be in the future. Do you want to be in a place that is imaginary and where no one has returned to confirm its existence or do you want to be happy, laughing with friends and family sharing a pizza? You have to do some soul-searching here, my friend and you have to find a hobby that doesn't leave your dead headless and legless body an item to be stared at ghoulishly on the internet.
In closing, I hope this letter finds you well and that it reaches you despite your whereabouts being unknown. I will sign off now and go jump in the pool.
Signed,
Just curious
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